Monday, 8 February 2016

Not Safe For Libraries

In my time I've been informed that libraries on the mainland have banned Old Knudsen's blog and now it seems that libraries in Northern Ireland have done so too. You know where else you can't read this blog? .... communist China that's where. News flash chinkys communism doesn't werk so fuck up about it.

Libraries need to be protected, they are places where poor and smelly people get to read books .... aye not them Twilight or Harry Potter books but real books like the ones about knitting or history.  Everything on Old Knudsen's blog is true, that is why they don't want you reading it.

As I was saying to my mate Dave Grohl from the Food fighters, "I want a place online where people don't have to figure out if it's a satirical site or not, they'll know it's all real." Then we snorted some coke of a hobo and jammed and marmaladed for hours.          

Me therapist often goes on about things seeming like they are real to me but in reality didn't happen. Ach she's a lovely lass and if what happened to me in Lithuania isn't covered by her training then she should just say so.
I knew I should have gone to the WAVE trauma centre instead of the NHS. Due to Old Knudsen's extensive military service I had all the shrinks beating doon my door to get into my head. At least for 5 quid Wave would give you a massage and had a reflecting garden, when I suggest a massage to my therapist she gets all uncomfortable looking and spends the rest of the hour taking about boundaries .... again.    

I've had an uneasy relationships with libraries, they say the books are free but now I'm having to dodge their debt collectors because they want the books back. I'm not going to ask people for their Christmas presents back, that's just mean.
You have to watch out as now they put those RFID chips onto the books so peel them off unless you like their alarms going off. Sounds like entrapment to me.

If you go into a library their RFID machines take yer passport, bank card and phone details and pass them on to the local domestic spying agencies.

As I was saying to Elvis last week, "thinking that everyone is out to get you and that you are followed everywhere and everyone is talking about you doesn't mean yer paranoid."  He said someone about fried bananas and passed out .... he does that sort of thing, I don't know why I even talk to him.  

The conspiracy is that libraries are not bastions of freedom and education, they are bastards of disinformation that want to keep the werd of Knudsen away from the people in case they did listen to what he says and all became powerful Warlocks like wot he is .... Can you imagine the shit fit Cameron would have when faced with thousands of powerful Warlocks and Warlockesses all wanting pay raises for the nurses and doctors and to bring back hanging .... but televised?       

The powers that be have noted how the day after I arrived in Berlin in 1989 the wall came down and that my holiday in Tunisia coincided with the Arab Spring movement in 2010 .... no wonder North Korea refuses to let me enter the cuntry.

Just watch out for those libraries, you get nothing for free these days, never trust a place that encourages you to read fiction. 

Friday, 5 February 2016

Rainbows Are As Bad As Chemtrails

It's common knowledge that 'The Government' repeatedly sprays chemtrails into the air to control the weather and the population. You can read a thousand websites about it on the Internet and you can see those strange lines in the sky too .... obvious proof.

What government, the British government? we can't even get potholes fixed and weeds in the council estates sprayed but they'll spray chemtrails? The American government? ... yeah cos they give a shit about the morons in Northern Ireland and why would they not dump out the chemtrails at sea where no one would see them? Why are chemtrails only visible when there is moisture in the air? Go to SoCal inland in the summer and you know what you'll never see until autumn? ... yep, chemtrails. Better still get off the fucken Internet and go learn about science you idiot.   

Something the government doesn't want you to know is that rainbows did not exist pre 1939.  The movie the wizard of Oz was actually government propaganda to introduce rainbows. Rainbows were actually created by L. Frank Baum, an American author of children's books. 

The government took Baum's story and made it into a movie but Florence Ryerson one of the screenplay writers fought against government lies and put clues into the movie such yellow brick road and the man behind the curtains pulling the strings.

(The orginal walk way to the entrance of Area 51 was made with tan coloured bricks) 

Rainbows are lasers created small unmanned craft of extraterrestrial design thought to have been reversed engineered by one captured from the Nazis in 1936 in Algeria. These beams of light are lasers locked onto lay lines within the Earth and used to power larger Motherships hidden behind the moon. 

The human/alien pact means they can re-fuel their ships and abduct whoever they want (except important people) cos aliens gotta eat. 

The chemtrails are used to make the area more adaptable to their laser technology which is why you often see rainbows in places where you've also seen chemtrails ..... in the sky! 

Write to yer local politician and demand a stop to these rainbows. Experts say we'll run out of lay line power in the next 50 years then the Earth's axis may very well reverse causing catastrophes and shortages of milk, eggs and bread every where. 

Open yer eyes sheeple, why have NASA never ever once mentioned rainbows? Bottled water, Global warming and the Moon landings have all been lies to distract you from yer meds the truth!   

Thursday, 4 February 2016

Bring Me Yer Huddled Masses ... Not Your Men Of Fighting Age

Migrants and refugees have just realised that they left their wives and children behind in poor or dangerous conditions. "I was too busy trying to escape ISIS as I no longer wanted to be a fighter that I forgot the ol ball and chain and our 17 children ... death to the west lol!" said one refugee in Germany as he eyed up all the white blonde weemen.  

There has been a lot of talk about unaccompanied children and how the UK will be accepting orphans but the European Union’s criminal intelligence agency has stated that about 10,000 children have gone missing.

Save the Children have said that 26,000 unaccompanied children entered Europe last year and in just Italy 5,000 have vanished and in Sweden 1,000. Not all have been sold off as sex slaves, some may just be with other relatives but there seems to be an EU wide people trafficking industry with an abundant source to feed off.

 Hungry in Hungary.

While Old Knudsen is all for supporting the refugees you can't be stupid about it. Yes criminals will get in possibly some wannabe terrorists too. To me I'm seeing a lot of fit, healthy males of fighting age .... the kind a patrol in Fallujah would be on the look out for. (though anyone can be a terrorist) Not everyone has the bittered balls enough to wear a uniform and pick up a gun and to become a target to fight terrorism but there is seriously A LOT of young men looking for new lives in Europe.
Kurdish weemen have the balls and the trigger discipline to fight terrorists.

In 1191 Richard the Lionheart killed 2,700 Muslim prisoners at the port city of Acre. Saladin couldn't come up with the ransom and Richard didn't want to leave a large force as prisoners behind when he left .... Crusaders were fanatical cunts and Richard was a most cuntish of cunts.

It did solve a problem however ... not that I'm saying kill them all, that would be evil, nah just the unattractive and shifty looking ones.

"I told my wife and children I'd send for them but now I'm in Sweden listening to Abba and driving a Volvo, they'd just cramp my asylum seeking style .... lol!"  

As you know, Old Knudsen is an investigative journalist. I was doing a report about the town of Tenancingo in Mexico. That small quaint looking town is known ... famous perhaps as being a place that trafficks in children.

Yes yes yes, being a journalist means my laptop is full of dodgy pictures, it's research, lets just get past that part and never speak of it again.   

The thing about Tenancingo is that the children growing up there and in other places don't know about it and so are innocents and prime targets.

A typical story of child trafficking, Karla Jacinto had been abused at the age of 5, had always felt abandoned by her mother and came from a dysfunctional family. When she was twelve a 22 year-old man took an interest in her and treated her well.

For someone so young with trust issues being seen as special might just be enough to turn your head. He bought her things and took her places and soon she was whisked away by her prince in his bright red Firebird Trans Am to the city of Guadalajara.

It turned out that he was a pimp and put her to work servicing 30 men a day from 10 am to midnight. He'd take her to other cities and towns working her 7 days a week. If she complained or talked about leaving she'd be beaten with a chain.  After she had her pimp's baby that was taken away and used as leverage to keep her in line.

One day 30 uniformed police officers raided the brothel she was in, they kicked out the customers but then made a deal for themselves to have 4 hours of fun with the obviously underaged and distressed girls, some as young as 10.

Karla was rescued when she was 16 during a trafficking raid, by then she had estimated that she had been raped 43,200 times. She now speaks out against trafficking which puts her life in yet more danger.

If you go to Tenancingo and you stand out as not being local yer safety cannot be guaranteed by anyone. The Mayor and the local officials all know their place, the police are corrupt and the street thugs do whatever they want to do. It's not lawless, there are just various factions that maintain order so they can buy and sell children for sex.

The pimps use the excuse that their father were pimps and at the age of 13 they were told they were pimps. This excuse has been used worldwide for spanking children, circumcision, job choices, poor behaviour that needs explained and parading in Northern Ireland ... if you have used this excuse to do something that is offensive to others or mistreats them then please go kill yerself stat! 

You are not yer parents, try to have an original thought for fucks sake.  

These Mexican syndicates reach out to many cities in the US too, it's an epidemic. Now you have thousands of children in Europe that don't exist on any data base that can just disappear without anyone asking questions about them.
If fact there doesn't seem to be anyone asking questions at all. If they are teenagers we just shrug and say they ran off to be rebellious and if younger then we ignore it unless they are photogenic and have a name.

The situations are there being exploited and as usual the vulnerable are at risk. We need to talk about this a lot more because not enough is being done. You get Christian outrage at abortion, where is the Christian outrage at child abuse?    

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

How To Read People

Before I had covered how to survive a terrorist attack, that was after the Paris attack. That told you to react but not like a spaz. Hide or stay still as we predators are attracted by movement.

I also told you that the best defense is to avoid trouble in the first place and that by reading the situation you can see if there is something out of place and thus mentally prepare you to act rather than to freeze like a deer in the head lights. 

During my time oppressing savages for crown and cuntry we'd have to do foot patrols. It was often dark or we'd approach the person from a distance not able to see their faces. Faces can lie if they are trying to look normal, sure you can't hide the wild eyes, shallow breathing and sweating but from a distance all you have to go on is below the neck.

 There is no excuse for the pants though.

The way a person is dressed often gives away their intent. Why do you think those ghetto rats wear clothes two sizes too big?  Aye sure they all have body issues and barf up their bucket of Popeye's chicken after they eat it.

You can hide things in baggy clothes. You can't hide yer love handles but you can hide yer 9 mil gat doon yer arse crack. Or yer bomb vest under yer puffer jacket.

Like all those poker films, even street hoods have tells. How often do you touch yer phone or yer wallet in yer pocket? Yer checking it's still there but that checking can become a reassurance thing if you are stressed. The bad guy will keep patting his hidden weapon which is why you always watch the hands.

Those cowboy movies have the gunslinger looking at the other guy's eyes to tell when he is going to draw ... that would be just a movie and used for dramatic effect. If the guy goes dead eyed he'd have drawn and shot by the time our hero registered it. Watch the hands, see if they are empty and you can tell so much from gestures as to whether or not this person is aggressive or submissive.

The reason we shake hands to to show there is no weapon in our sword hand (usually the right hand) 

Unless you spend years immersed in another culture you won't fully understand it. Human nature is universal though so it doesn't matter if they have some strange ways.
People are driven by the same things, power, sex, money and sausage rolls. We all have that freeze, fight or flight instinct. The guy approached by the foot patrol does he freeze for a second before continuing? He's decided to fight, or bluff his way through. 

When standing in Walmart and some mouth breather stands too close to you a lot of people will inch away, that is the civilized version of the flight response or you freeze and hold yer breath and hope they go.

People are naturally lazy, predictable creatures of habit. In survival situations you'd always take the path of least resistance as to not use up energy. People buy the same stuff, talk to the same people and go to the same places, even when they try to be random there is often a pattern to it.  Rock paper scissors is a good example of people trying to be random.   

You hear men lament on how they don't understand women or women go on about some man that didn't do what normal people should have done ... they just aren't seeing the pattern or don't have enough insight or information to be able to read it.

A logical person may not have enough empathy to see why an emotional person did this or that and vice versa. 

Many actions can be fueled by past experiences and issues. Jenny was rude and off putting to Jack for no reason .... Jenny didn't realise that it was because a guy with dark hair and a leather jacket broke her heart at the age of 19 and that subconsciously Jack reminded her of him due to his appearance ....  also Jenny was a bit of a cunt anyways.

 Feet firmly planted, hands on hips to make himself seem larger ...  aye, yer about to be shot.

Most of human communication is non-verbal, you can get body language cues without having to know the reason but once you get the cue then look for other things to back up whatever you suspect. Folded arms can mean they are defensive/adversarial or are submissive and are trying to make themselves a small target or maybe it's just fucken nipply out.
Leaning can mean not interested, legs folded can mean relaxed, feet under your chair can mean submissive or respectful, the body language needs to be read along with the situation. At a Doctor's waiting area you expect relaxed (if they have all day) or agitated people especially when the Doctor is running behind.

Groups of people too, who is standing closely to whom and is it within arms reach? (intimate/comfortable range) or at arms length which is normal everyday social range or are they moving away every time a person approaches? Who is dominant and who moves to the back and tries to look small?

You may not get all the answers when reading people but if you keep at it you may get spookily good at it. You can go up to a group of people and ask, "are you dominant?" or "so, you two are a an intimate couple right?" .... but I'd not advise it as you may be telling them something they didn't want others to know.


What Old Knudsen calls people that walk with earbuds in or walk while looking at their phones .... victims.

Most people don't pay attention to what is going on around them, most people don't even look up at the sky  for fucks sake.

Body language cues can tell a person engrossed in what they are doing to someone pretending to be engrossed. When you multitask you have to keep going back to the task and may do it slower or you may do it faster to make up for not paying attention. A person fixed on doing a task will usually lose all sense of awareness to their environment.

You can tell who is watching you while pretending to talk into their phone, their conversation isn't fluid and maybe they have to think about what to say, their attention is divided. You can either do one thing well or two things badly. 

Two types of people that are aware of their environment. law enforcement/security etc and the bad guys. People turning round to see who is behind them isn't normal civvy behaviour and so they can stand out like that.

Of course once a cop sees something they may become too focused and thus lose situational awareness just like that.
I saw a movie in which a house was being staked out, they could tell something was up whenever a guy came outside his head would do a sweep of the perimeter ... he had the training. 

There is no reason that once you complete your daily tasks that you do a 360 look at yer environment. Continue to do that everywhere. A purse snatcher is less likely to go for someone who seems aware of their surroundings and just looked round at them while they were walking down the street.

Fantasize about Old Knudsen in the shower for fucks sake. 

Any other anomalies than just a group of Middle eastern men should be observed and your concerns reported. Nervous Middle Eastern men in a huddle at the food court who all keep patting the back packs by their feet and getting silent when someone passes.... Yeah that seems suspicious. 

One quiet man with a back pack can sit by the wall all day and never attract attention though.

It isn't the movies or what some Americans think their live would be like if they could carry a gun. If you have something to report then do it unless yer a rabid racist that watches Fox news as then yer judgement is already proven to be impaired. Otherwise get away ... the more distance the less deadly the attacker can be ... or hide and put a ton of stuff between you and them .... yer last option is to fight which is more likely to get you killed but no action at all can get you killed too.

Don't evacuate as that could have you heading towards the attacker, lock yourself in if possible.

Old Knudsen can use his training to help you survive this life thing but only if you listen. It's also important to listen to yer gut too.... but not about yon Tunnock teacakes  yer fat gut says yes but yer arse says no. 



Tuesday, 2 February 2016

The Empty Post

Why yes, I do find it funny that when I posted an empty post on 13th January 2016 without even a title it had gotten 162 views. Sometimes less is more huh. 

Man Of Action Makes A Cum Back

Tank commander outfit. 

Action Man is 50 years old. This toy from the 60's, 70's and 80's was fucken cool ... then it died, mostly because of Star Wars.

No back story or characters, the figures were soldiers, sailors and pilots, there was even a Native American Indian and a mountie outfits. The Injun had a long black haired wig which had all the ethnic GI Joes complaining about the lack of diversity. 
There was a black figure named Tom Stone that came out which was the only black fella many of us had ever seen.
I remember a long rifle than a spear. 

The TV commercials had Action Man skiing or getting away from the bad guys and there would be a ton of accessories to get. Back then if you got an Action Man tank you could probably take the turret off and ride it down wee hills and it would survive, toys today wouldn't, yon X-box doesn't even have wheels.   

Hasbro will be going old school and releasing 5 Action Man figures, this is good news for big kids like Old Knudsen as he has fond memories of mutilating his don't call them dolls action figures by throwing darts at them until they started to use the hard plastic that is because the darts just fell out of them then. 

Rubber back then wasn't as lasting as it is today and when they went with gripping hands you'd find that the fingers would fall off and they'd look like IRA bomb makers. The felt hair would come off too so you'd be left with the shape of hair but no hair.

Old Knudsen growing up on the Protestant side of things wonders if the Fenian cocksuckers ever gave their children action men dressed like Paras to play with. Maybe they had innocent bystander action men (complete with hidden M-16) and Para's to play Bloody Sunday in which the Paras all got shot?

GI Joes had a broader range and some of the figures they still make today such as presidents and war heroes etc are pretty amazing. The detail has gotten even better.

As well as the hands and the bodies changing they also gave them Eagle Eyes which meant you could move their eyes from side to side via a switch in the back of their heads.

I'll be buying them assuming they aren't millions of pounds. So many outfits that were mostly WWII and now they can make more such as drone operators and lady soldiers. HM Forces make their own 10 inch doll action figure based on the armed forces, and has females. If the British government can do it ... c'mon! The HM Forces ones do have small ghey looking heads though. Based on real service members I guess they didn't have any good looking ones available. This guy looks like he stepped in shit. The HM ones are about an inch and a bit smaller than action man.

Here is the Knudsen Action Man. There would be a pull string and a speaker in the back. The later versions used to have little records to play the various commands if he had a lot to say.

"C'mon chaps, move out and advance!"

The Old Knudsen figure has a back story about waking up in just his blue undies still half drunk and angry. The Eagle Eyes on this one were marketed as "Crazy Eyes" and he had some soundbites cos a Knudsen Action Man is bound to be a talker .... a lover, fighter and talker. I wanted them to put a working penis on it but they said no, so strap on's only .... story of my life, I can still fight and I never shut the fuck up. 

His soundbites were, "Tae, 2 sugars luv" ..... "Weakness is for the weak" .... "you deserve a harsh mocking" and "Feel my gripping rubber fists of justice."

The Knudsen figure liked to grip. 

The only problem was that they used some toffy nosed Sassenach for the voice as they did for all the military talkers as the ol empire mind set was still around and no region dialects were allowed.

My accessories included a half brick to throw and a sachet of fake blood to cover me in as that is usually how I wake up. For some reason it didn't sell too well and won't be one of the 5 re-released. I blame the stoopid accent.   

 Hasbro will also bring out the ol favourite Stretch Armstrong. I have contacted Hasbro and left them a message about trying a stretch Knudsen. Ach we're all grown up now so I'm sure we can deal with a toy and its expanding love member, never mind grown up's I'm sure the kids would love to play with it too.

Just don't slice it open to see what is inside as many of us did back in the day .... ouch! 

Monday, 1 February 2016

James Nesbitt Has The Luck O The Orish

The people of Northern Ireland don't speak proper. An education more interested in you remembering all the fairy tales of the Bible than talking good like the Queen does. There was a good reason that regional dialects were kept off the telly for decades.

You know us Norn Irish people, always ready to scream "racism!" when presenter Christine Bleakley isn't offered a job in England or gets subtitles ... aye, we're the fucken Paddy race and we'll cut ya. The Scots are a diluted version of us so if you picture an island full of Glaswegians .... you get the idea. 

James Nesbitt, a son of Old Knudsen's Ballymena where that other legend Liam Neeson was born stars in a show called Stan Lee's Lucky Man.  I don't know what Stan Lee has to do with it besides being an attention hoor in the title.
A Ballymena detective on the edge, living in London has a gambling addiction which ruined his marriage. He's also a bit of a dick so no stretch in acting for Nesbitt. He is given a magic bracklet that he can't get rid of and it brings him amazing good luck .... oh no, I'm doomed to keep winning the lottery.

I'm sexy for the UK ... just not enough for the US though. 

Why do they never play the lotto? The time traveler's wife, in that they did the lottery, instead Nesbitt bets on dog racing ... well I did say he was a dick, dicks like dog racing.

Most people are concerned about whether he is wearing a wig or has hair plugs but Old Knudsen's shoulders go up every time he speaks.
That's the US market out, they'll never be able to understand him. Old Knudsen had to clean up his own accent and slow down for the Yanks to understand him and even then if they just didn't expect an accent there would be a blank look. Americans go straight into condition black with that thousand yard stare when faced with something they don't expect. "Killer pads? why the fuck would I want killer pads which don't even exist? I'm in the air conditioning section of Ace hardware, maybe I'm looking for cooler pads ... oh for fucks sake, I'll do a mime."

Old Knudsen has long shed his Ballymena accent (on purpose) but will still speak fast when annoyed. My accent has been described as lilting ... so fuck yous.

Nesbitt lays it on thick, "c'mon big fella" he says to a card dealer in the first 5 minutes. He looks for the murderer of a Chinese fella named Lau. You may pronounce Lau with ow! when you hit yer thumb but with an 'L' at the front, Nesbitt goes around talking about Loy .... similar to the end of 'alloy.'

Remember the scene in Inglorious basterds when Landa was getting them to re-pronounce the Italian werds they were brutalizing, why don't people correct Nesbitt? C'mon people, lets show some real English/Paddy hatred going on here. "Fucken Paddy, cumming over here taking our jobs when e don't speak good like wot we do innit .... guvnor, cor blimey."   

Maybe it's the luck of the Irish .... the whole show is racist! By having a Paddy as the lucky man they are slyly giving credence to the luck of the Irish which started as a derogatory term to explain Irish success because it couldn't have been down to hard werk cos they are always drunk and fighting so it must be luck. 

 Preforming 'Three men and a lamb' at the The Braid Arts Centre in Ballymena

Liam Neeson, one of Old Knudsen's people I know with money close friends has got several werds written into his contract that he refuses to say on screen. He also refuses to suck cock ... on screen that is. 

The werds he won't say are:

Ferry or even Fairy .... what you'll get out of him are Furry, which is about animals having anthropomorphic attributes like walking upright and speaking. The expression "It would skin a fairy" meaning yes, it is rather cold today can be mistaken as being anti-furry as skinning one on a cold day would be quite harsh. 

Shower and combined with power shower is a disaster. You'd get purr shurr or something similar, a very difficult concept to mime yer way out of.  
If you are concerned for the poor this may also sound like purr. 

Neeson never orders a Latte or he'd be saying lattie. 

A Buffet could become an all you can eat buffy, which is great if yer a vampire slayer. 

There is a fella on Russian Toady Russian Today (RT) and he keeps going on about news updates on the ourr .... c'mon people, a little bit of effort, would someone please tell these yokels they aren't talking in English.    

Luckily Neeson and Nesbitt were raised sheep shagging cuntry bumpkins and didn't have the Belfast accent to deal with (another dialect Old Knudsen avoided) as then things like Top, Shop, and Box all become Tap, Shap, and Bax.  Yes it was funny when Top Shop opened in Belfast.  


Thursday, 28 January 2016

Conspiracy Isn't In The Shadows Anymore

Have you heard about this Zika virus? I hadn't heard of it until a few weeks ago. It makes unborn babies look like Dobby the hoose elf, with an underdeveloped brain. Central American governments are suggesting that you shouldn't get pregnant until 2018.

The World Health Organization says it's spread by mosquitoes and there is no cure for it. It could reach pandemic scale and come back in 10 years then there might be a vaccine of some sort.

Och wee dote. 

If it does hit big it could mean a generation of morons, I don't know if I could take that. Every year there is someone ranting about chemtrails or sharing the videos on how snow doesn't burn. Old Knudsen doesn't believe in that science stuff but he does have the fucken Internet .... the dress is gold and white, the government just wants you to think it's black and blue to see if their chemtrail mind control is working. 

If you were going to shoot chemtrails over Northern Ireland would it not be rat poison to get rid of the vermin known as people? We aren't worth any other kind of effort and you couldn't dumb us down anymore than we are. 

Then you have yon rapper B.o.B arguing with Neil deGrasse Tyson that the Earth is flat because when he takes pictures of the horizon he can't see a curve.  I don't know about you but I go to rappers (especially high school drop outs) when I have a science question, Fitty Cent was the one that told me about the Climate Change conspiracy .... Where is the normal temperature of the Earth be at? .... ighhhtt! 

I swear, these are the people that answer Yahoo Questions. If I have to tell one more person about Ad-Block plus .... figure it the fuck out, you have the Interwebs!!!!!!

If it wasn't for the Urban dictionary I would never have discovered the pleasures of wolfbagging or what a Mexican pancake is.

Mosquitoes have been getting around over the last couple of decades. West Nile virus (a relative of Zika) was their last big thing. Zika virus has been around since 1947 but it takes a while to get around. 

Don't go forgetting about Ebola, that was a big thing not too long ago .... almost like a test run to see how freaked out people would get. Remember, if yer gonna test stuff out then do it in Africa. The first form of the Zika virus came from Uganda and don't forget Aids. 

Africa is a vast sprawling Continent with 3rd world nations and dodgy laws and corrupt officials. Questions do not get asked when you ship things in and out of many African ports. It's also still hard to get news from parts of Africa. There are reasons why the Chinese fucken love it there, it's almost as slack as home.

Bill Gates like that other 1% er Mark Zuckerberg donate billions to charity all the time ... well to their own causes at least. You don't get to be a billionaire by giving away yer money. Gates through his Bill and Milinda foundation seem to be very interested in mosquitoes. Remember when Bill released mosquitoes into an audience for fun? 
Gates who is a big investor in Monsanto in India had done polio vaccine tests there with a vaccine that the CDC had dropped in 2000 for actually causing polio. Gates claims to not have known about this but the Indian government has accused him of 47,500 paralysis deaths.  Testing on remote villages isn't cool Gates!

The CDC  (Centers for Disease Control) are dirty lying fuckers themselves. They made Aids a worldwide panic and lied about contaminated drinking water in Washington DC, much like what Flint Michigan is going through. Don't trust them. 

Back to Mosquitoes. Eritrea in the Horn of Africa reduced mosquito deaths by 80% over a couple of decades. They did this with clean drinking water, destroying mosquito breeding grounds and malaria nets to sleep under. 

No vaccines involved. Bill Gates keeps taking about vaccines though ... even after India. They always want to make something they can sell huh. He has also talked about mosquitoes that deliver the vaccine, you know who else talked about such things? .... The Nazis. 

Experiments at Dachau had the Nazis looking at weaponizing mosquitoes to send to the enemy. This is real science and hard to follow the trail back.   

How do you fool the people? mock and belittle the truth and anyone that tells it.

Is it a conspiracy when the Governor tells you that the drinking water is safe even though it's full of lead? Is it a conspiracy when the CDC also let you drink contaminated water and become a well funded and important department over Aids which is actually pretty difficult to catch? Is it a conspiracy when Monsanto try to muscle out all competition for growing non-Monsanto crops and the government lets them? Is it a conspiracy when the NSA get caught collecting data on the US people and intercepting communications from our allies? Is it a conspiracy when any whistleblowers are automatically found guilty? Is it a conspiracy that we always seem to be at war and even with troop numbers being cut the weapons industry still make big profits? Is it a conspiracy that we are still driving cars not too different than they were 100 years ago? Is it a conspiracy when terrorist groups like Khorasan pop up but no one except for the government has heard of them, but they are totally deadly? Is it a conspiracy that everyone seems to die of cancer? Is it a conspiracy that we invaded Iraq for no good reason? is it a conspiracy that no top level people in the British government ever got jailed for pedophilia and the guy in charge of the investigation was one of the suspects? Is it a conspiracy that the British government let terrorist attacks happen in Northern Ireland and lost evidence regularly?

7.3 billion people on this world, the 1% have to be worried. That is why you don't have a job for life, dumbed down education, crippling debt and can only afford iPhones and fast food .... bread and circuses.  A cull would be too drastic and you don't want to live on a radiation soaked rock. You still need a labour force but not one that has too much or is too well educated. 

You improve on your WMD's (buy our Brimstone missiles) and yer plagues on the poor, the free press being owned by just a few people, your details and location being known at all times thanks to social media. Scare yer own population with what might happen because a scared population are easier to control, they end up giving you their rights and freedoms. 

Remember when I pointed out that the weapons, food and medical industries all have the same investors in all three? Like Obama talking climate change and supporting fracking. Oil is too cheap so fracking is the future. 

As Napoleon said: "Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."  .... substitute the fear of Hell for fear of bodily harm and terrorist attacks though many still believe the burn in Hell bullshit .... especially those poor uneducated nations, they are still way into it.  

 Ha ha ha, I really hate you ..... I can't stand you either lol.

It isn't conspiracy if it is actually happening and not all people that suggest a conspiracy go on about melting steel beams and burning snow.  Can you readily explain the actions of world leaders? You don't hear about how the US continually provokes Russia on its border but Russia is always the bad guy. 

There are no good guys and bad guys, just people out for themselves. You don't get rich or at the top of your ladder by being nice, you step on the people on the way up. 


Wednesday, 27 January 2016

Did Trump Really Kill A Hobo?

The American Association for School Shootings is up in arms over the latest werds from Donald Trump. Trump stated that he could shoot people on New York’s Fifth Avenue and not lose any voters.

Daniel Whiteside, the founder of AASS said on his blog 'Mission Statement' on Tuesday that "talking about shooting random people makes spree shooters look crazy."

Daniel is a polite, quiet young man according to his neighbours and never has any friends over. AASS also found Trump's other words to be offensive too.

"I could break into Hillary's house and knock out Bill and tie her up because she is weak. I've been talking about beating her for weeks but I'll just rub my harden cock over her face then maybe cut off her nipples before shooting the two of them in the head Boston style .... I used to collect rents in Boston so I'm street tough and I'll make America street tough, I'd get more support in the polls for this and maybe the medal of freedom from myself when I'm president."   

Trump also ranted on about slicing up hookers that earn less than $36,000 per year but who doesn't do that huh?

Trump's voting base laughed and cheered while the British (who take killing people seriously) set up another petition, this time to bring back hanging just for Trump.

Trump has said how he isn't into guns but ever since running for president he has expressed his joy for air shooting. It's like air guitar but done when yer watching a war movie.

 Trump after having binged on DeNiro movies. 

Experts have suggested a link with being president and violence but think that this is just part of Trump's mental breakdown which started in 1972.
Obama had never killed anyone until he became president and now he routinely takes lives around the world with his drones, he broke GW Bush's record in his second year as president .... why do you hate brown people so much Obama? 

Studies suggest that Trump would probably start another US civil war and might even sell Alaska back to Russia after having flipped the state if he became preez. 

Trump was just recently endorsed by fellow draft dodger Ted Nugent and that Duck Dynasty beardy guy who has also never served either. His biggest endorsement came from Sarah Palin whose speech which ended with the words pew pew pew Murica! Has gotten the most attention.
Palin who uses her sexual appeal to make men do her bidding may very well have made a deal to be directly under Trump as the president of vice should he get into the White House.

Daniel Whiteside the founder of AASS says, "if he wants the spree shooter's vote then he's gonna have to start talking about getting rid of school security because as it stands the only ones supporting him now are fetish and serial killers." 

Tuesday, 26 January 2016

The Hero Of Ramadi

It was a different life, a different existence that was not that long ago. In the sandbox known as Iraq we fought what were called Insurgents back then in order to liberate someone or something .... fuck details, a soldier goes where he/she is told and does the job.

When you join up you more or less sign away yer soul and free will, you also have to come to terms with the fact that you might kill or be killed. Any soldier who has not thought about this hasn't faced the prospect of dying for their cuntry.

In the military they break you then rebuild you, conscience and questioning yer superiors is knocked out of you but those with common sense and aggression rise through the ranks.

Old Knudsen was too aggressive for the military at times, mostly because he didn't do mornings. This aggression would be honed to a fine blade to make him the perfect killing machine he is today.

During a patrol near Ramadi we came under fire from two sides, we were pinned down with hardly any cover and lost a few good men. When back up arrived in the form of Humvees laden with Americans our attackers fled, we were exhausted but we wanted payback. We followed the Insurgent tracks for 8 miles and were led to a village .... just a village, it wasn't even big enough to be on the map or have a name.  

The Insurgents hadn't finished hiding their weapons and disappearing into the population yet and after a firefight with just 4 enemy combatants we set about looking for the rest.

The village elder told our interpreter that there were no Al-Qaeda in the village except those 4 who he says he didn't know .... they always had a story like that. Foreign soldiers came and went but the Insurgents were always there so you can't blame him for being afraid of them more than us.  

Being just a Lance jack at the time Old Knudsen didn't have much authority over the men, we were being led by Corporal Mitchell, a big blue eyed straw haired Bradford man with mean, sadistic streak common to most British NCO's. 
Our regular platoon commander was down with heat stroke, Sargent Braine was one of the few killed that day so Mitchell was filling in. Normally we'd have returned to base but now we were on a crusade.

He looked at the villagers and at the bodies of the 4 dead insurgents and sneered, you just didn't know if you'd get the sadistic racist or the professional soldier were Mitchell was concerned, he brown nosed up to the officers perfectly so they hadn't a clue what he was really like.   

It was no longer males of fighting age you had to look out for, the insurgents could be anyone in this village, even the children could carry bombs and pull triggers. 

"Kill the lot of them and blow this place to fuck!"  .... he just said that, the men just started to herd the villagers towards the village center, nobody questioned or spoke up, nobody dared. 

Old Knudsen looked at the villagers, they knew something was up, mothers held their children close, the elder pleaded innocence, we were British, we were better than this. 

"Hold on a minute Corporal, this isn't going to happen"  my mouth was dry and my voice cracked a little, it's not like the movies in which the hero looks calm and rested, my balls were sweatin like a bookie on racing day.   

Mitchell's core of followers began to circle me while others just looked the other way so I said it again.

"This isn't going to happen" ...... " not until we take a group selfie for fucks sake." 

Those lads would never have anything for their photo albums if it wasn't for me.   Memories fade but photos don't, unless you use a filter or leave it exposed to direct sunlight .... you get the idea. 

That's why Old Knudsen is called the hero of Ramadi .... though those in Ramadi have another name for him.

Monday, 25 January 2016

Oscars Go Blackface To Prove They Aren't Racist

Keaton, Affleck and Clooney pick up the Batman life time achievement awards.  

Are the Oscars racist or do they properly represent the 13% black population of the US? 12 years a slave is the perfect example to use and has been pointed out by George Clooney who thinks the Oscars are not racist. 

In 2013, 12 years a slave won Oscars for best picture, best supporting actress and best screen play. It was directed by yon black fella Steve McQueen in case you forgot. 

Did the academy suddenly turn racist 10 months later and not nominate Selma director Ava DuVernay? ..... hey, maybe they were being sexist. Selma got best picture and best song nominations but didn't win. 

Maybe it just wasn't good enough. Tom Wilkinson and Tim Roth were the big names in that movie, unlike Brad Pitt and Michael Fassbender who were supporting actors in the slave film. 

Jada Pinkett Smith is the main person calling the Oscars racist. In case you didn't know her she's an actress that has been in .... ach go Google, I can't recall her roles. It's the chick married to Will Smith. He has backed up her call to boycott the Oscars ..... neither had nominations. 

Will has had 2 Oscar nominations in his time, Jada none but she did win a Teen choice award once.   

Others calling for a boycott are 2 times Oscar nominated director Spike Lee, a very overrated fella. Other industry heavy weights Tyrese Gibson from the Fast and the Furious 7 ... he is putting pressure on Chris Rock to drop out of hosting the show. 

Snoop Dogg who like Gibson didn't have Oscar invites said, "Fuck da. Oscars."  Well as long as Jada and Lee didn't call for a boycott on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day as that would be emotional manipulation, using a great man and his words to complain about rich black people not getting awards. 

Did my people endure hundreds of years of slavery just to be snubbed at award shows? ... Lets go to Ferguson and riot! black actors awards do matter! 

Will Smith will be appearing in the up and coming Suicide Squad movie which is about um ... teenage suicide???? No, it's DC superheroes or rather anti-heroes like Marvel's Deadpool though not as good. Smith plays Deadshot who has excellent sniper skills and is guaranteed  an Oscar nod for this role ... or at least a Teen Choice award. 

The US does have race issues, mostly because as like during the times of the Founding Fathers all men were not equal. Award shows .... not what MLK jr had in mind though. 

Maybe Meryl Streep and Kate Winslet are just better at acting and are therefore offered and choose better roles. I don't see Streep appearing in anything DC related or the other Cate ... Blanchett revving up for the Fast and the Furious 8. 

Denzil Washington has won 2 Oscars, Morgan Freeman, Halle Berry and Jamie Foxx have won one each and Foxx even managed to pull a bloke out of a burning truck last week, did he stop and say, "a white guy in a crashed burning truck, I only rescue drunk drivers of color"? .... no he did not.  

Scholastic Press have pulled A Birthday Cake for George Washington from distribution. The children's book told of the head chef Hercules and his daughter taking such great pride at making a birthday cake for the president. 
Hercules was one of Washington's slaves to have successfully escaped on Washington's 65th birthday by the way. 

"Even though he was a slave, everyone knew and admired Hercules – especially the president!”

Yeah, he was a fine negro, and one that knew his place. Washington owned 318 slaves, he whipped and punished them like any other slave owner, he also broke up families by selling members to go to the West Indies and maybe even had a child with one slave named Venus. 

Happy smiling slaves, maybe they had it good after all.

Washington was a kind of pussy hypocrite. A turn coat as much as Benedict Arnold was but he managed to Forest Gump his way through disastrous defeats to actually win the war but only with the back up of France. 

He wasn't a great military mind but he was popular, he'd cry in front of his men and would turn on allies when it suited him (Whiskey rebellion) he also whined and complained about the injustice of slavery all the while whipping Kunta Kinte for trying to escape. 

When he died he made provisions to free his slaves .... well not really, it would be when his wife Martha had died and then only 123 were actually freed. 

I don't think his slaves who worked a 6 day week had Oscar nominations on their minds much.


Thursday, 21 January 2016

Liam Neeson Visits Ballymena

Liam Neeson has agreed to do a film promoting his birth town of Ballymena. Recently he was awarded the freedom of Ballymena which means he is allowed to enter any homes in the town and watch you sleep and maybe eat from yer fridge depending what you have.

Here he is at the beautiful Slemish mountain (490 foot high ... wow!) it's the plug of some extinct volcano. It is where the St Patrick after being captured as a slave was forced to tend sheep before doing what Neeson himself did and escaped the fuck out of there. On a clear day from the top of Slemish you can just about make out Big Ben in London and the London eye if your eyesight is really good. To the east you can see the Mull of Kintyre which was the castle that Rob Roy MacGregor lived in.

Beautiful Fairhill shopping centre. If you can find (not free) parking after being trapped in the town's one way system then come here. Shop at the 50 stylish shops you can find in Belfast or Abbeycentre (a very tiny and lame mall) and marvel at how the main doors open and close as if they know you want to go in or out .... you may have to push past the locals who find this phenomenon amazing. If you stop in for a latte, make sure you pronounce it properly as latty as the Ballymena baristi tend to be uber snooty about coffee matters.    

Remember you are in the Bible belt so heads and arms need to be covered. I almost played Ballymena's moral compass the Reverend Ian Paisley once but they wouldn't let me hold a gun in the movie poster so I said "NO!" .... but not like he did cos I can't do voices.

Visit St Patrick's army barracks .... sure it's closed now and they are turning it into housing but still. It's beside the two high schools .... which are also closed. Oh, it's near the leisure centre, I remember running home after a good swim when I was young. I ran because the Protestant fuckers chased me to beat me up which is why I learned to box  .... ah, good times.

Enjoy our famous Michelin factory, that has now closed down.   

Marvel at Gallaghers cigarette factory, that has now closed down too.

Our beautiful Wrightbus factory is still open, though it did lose out on a major contract to a Belgium firm ... we didn't take that well.

Having the key to the town city means I can cum and plough your field, whether you like it or not.

One thing Ballymena has a great supply of is coke, just ask anyone for some, we have an annual snort the charlie off a wheelie bin festival.

To save the best for last they say that blondes have more fun.With a ratio of 10 sheep to 1 man you know we have fun here.
You won't see many women in Ballymena but that's because they often tend to look manly, I blame the the chemicals that run off from the farms into our main fishing river.   

Ballymena people are known for their friendliness, unless you are a stranger, soldier or a Fenian like me. Don't look them in the eyes and most of all enjoy Ballymena .... *the city of the seven towers.*

*It's just a name, no towers and it's just a town*