Friday 16 September 2016

A Salad Tosser


The Harlem Cafe in Belfast is doing good business by turning a negative into a positive. A woman on TripAdvisor had the prawn salad and called it the worst one she has had in her life and she has had loads of salads .... you wouldn't think it cos of the *size of her* but she ain't no salad dodger. *Pure speculation*    

The owner of the award winning restaurant said, "I dislike TripAdvisor. I feel it's a hidden way for people to vent their anger and they always seem to add a bit on and make it sound really bad. And I just thought I'd tell everybody in the world about this salad."

Like the movie and music reviews on Amazon huh, it brings out the failed critic in people. "I bought the best of the Human League but before I tell you about the product let me first list their influences and how their style evolved over the years, lets start with Miles Davis."   

I'm sure local Belfast people are going in thinking, "I bet she was American, I'll show that Yank by having the salad and liking it no matter what!" 

Oh no, don't slag off our poor service, quality and choice or you'll feel the wrath of the people. Remember when HBO execs and Jon Snow complained about how after a week there was fuck all to do in Belfast? Oh boy did the locals yap. It may be true that unless yer a raging alcoholic there isn't much to do here but we don't need people ... outsiders pointing it out.  

Jon Snow knows fuck all BTW.


If you leave a restaurant angry about the food enough to make a bad review then maybe there are other problems.
The salad might be better if you put it in a fucken bowel instead of poncey wee pots but hey what do I know? I don't win la de da awards but I hate it when you have to dig yer food out of hipster pots or yer chips cum in a bucket .... I'm no the fucken Queen. Also don't put dirty packets of butter onto bread, I hate it when people do that.

The owner would rather have complaints/concerns said to her face and she is very approachable ... so she says. Well I'm sure she would but it's the 21st century and hey maybe Northern Ireland should up it's fucken game a big bit.

One diner told OBB "I wondered just how bad it could be - and it was actually quite nice." .... quite nice, wow what a compliment. Quite nice can turn to bleh very easily.  

You can't have an abortion or ghey marriage here so why on earth would you expect decent food? There's a KFC doon the road for the less pretentious and I hear/know it's finger licken good. Must be good I see the staff licking their fingers all the time.

While the sign is a bit of fun you can't at all feel the anger behind it .... oh no, not at all. Smoldering Donald Trump kind of anger.  Och go in and try it out for yerself don't let some picky eater with standards tell you what's good or bad, there's fuck all else to do in Belfast so why not?
   

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